After the separation: what will become of the house or condo?

A separation of a couple always means a change. Also spatially, because the apartment, which was previously the common retreat, often becomes a burden as soon as the separation is announced. This is especially true if the former “share house” is owner-occupied property.

What will happen to the shared apartment after the separation?

Karen*, 32, kept her shared apartment after breaking up with her boyfriend. But she doesn’t really like living in her apartment anymore.

So now it’s gone. I sit dreamily on the floor and listen to the click of the front door in the stairwell below. So now our shared apartment is mine.

My boyfriend and I broke up three months ago. Joshua and I, trite as it sounds, had drifted apart after eight years of dating: he played handball three nights a week while I sat alone on the couch. When he went out with my girls, he never came and for a long time we preferred to go on vacations together with other couples to have less alone time and more distraction.

When we parted ways, we verbally agreed that I could stay in our shared apartment and keep it because I had discovered it back then, here on the outskirts of Munich. If I hadn’t put so much pressure on the broker at the time and raised our joint “upper limit” by another €50,000 (the broker told us that there were three other interested parties who were willing to pay the purchase price), we would never have been accepted to receive . Such an apartment in an old building with stucco, high white walls and a small garden in front has not been on the market for a long time.

At the time, Joshua said that it was perfectly fine for him to let me live in him, not without adding a little push afterwards, because our time together wasn’t so nice in the end that he looks wanted every day now. to be remembered. So everything was settled peacefully: I would pay him off and take over Joshua’s 50 percent of the land registry and loan agreement. My parents had advanced part of his estate to me for the loan, so I didn’t find the prospect of paying Joshua’s share too onerous in the future.

Then suddenly the transformation came. Joshua resented the split, although we actually parted amicably. He kept sarcastically commenting on what he was doing and then began to distrust me. I must admit, I had someone else, he said, otherwise I would not have had the courage to part.

Suddenly our separation agreements no longer count.

Suddenly my ex-boyfriend didn’t seem to remember anything we had discussed before and there didn’t seem to be any payment.

“Then you can pay for my paint job, drywall, and kitchen at the same time,” he said and made some completely crazy calculations in which he calculated his work at 100 euros an hour. I was at my wits end. In the evenings when he came home from work, he would now do anything to annoy me, bring friends over and play the music loud when he knew I was going to sleep, or ignore me completely.

A few weeks later I received a letter from his parents asking for proof of deposit. If all of this hadn’t been so stressful, I’d actually be the last kindergarten to argue like this after eight years. I just threw the letter away and ignored it. In the evening I waited for Joshua, who once again came home very late and noisily.

“Joshua, we need to talk for a minute”, I said. It was the first time we had spoken in weeks; In the end we just ignore each other.

“I can not do this anymore”I said, “And if you don’t want to be paid anymore and you want to keep the apartment, we can also do it the other way around: you pay me and you keep the apartment.”

“I don’t want the shitty apartment at all”Joshua began to rant.

“Then go finally”I said, “Then I want you to find an apartment and leave me alone. I can’t do this anymore. Everything is completely toxic: the whole life situation, how we treat each other and what has become of us.” I was incredibly angry and helpless at the time.

Joshua looked at me wearily and at that moment he looked a little familiar again. “I’m looking for an apartment”he said after a long pause and nodded.

Almost a year ago today my apartment now belongs only to me. It was a struggle to keep this apartment. It’s worth it? When I think of all the work I’ve put into the apartment, the paint in the kitchen, it’s lilac and immediately cheers you up as soon as you walk in, the doors we’ve sanded down and all the holes we’ve patched up. – In this Apartment trapped so much time and emotional memories. My birthday party when I turned 30, which was also like a housewarming party, every night we sat in the kitchen and cooked… It’s all still there now, but it’s gone. Everything feels different here since the break up. Also, the apartment costs a lot more than I would have thought.

Every month I pay around 450 euros of money from the house, plus property tax, and as lovely as an apartment in an old building is, there is always something broken here. I recently had to fix my heater and while my parents are supportive of me, I don’t like constantly pumping them over something like this. I am an adult after all.

Maybe make an offer to sell it. Because even if our former shared apartment now only belongs to me, it somehow doesn’t feel that way…

*All names have been changed by the publishers.

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