Friends and family during fertility treatment

Diagnosing an assisted reproductive problem is an experience that brings with it a multitude of problems negative emotions. To start, we can list those related to grief or loss, what this diagnosis usually means for yourself or your partner. These different stages are: denial of the problem, anger at others or at oneself, anger, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance of the problem. Each of these phases includes different kinds of thoughts, feelings and forms of relationships with the rest. It is possible that at most stages of grief, you or your partner may wish to keep the diagnosis a secret, that you are receiving reproductive treatment. Often influenced by shame or confusion. The Importance of support from friends and family during fertility treatment It is key and the risk you are taking is isolating yourself from the people who can best support and understand you.

The family as support for fertility treatments

fizkes || Shutterstock

Should I tell those around me that I am undergoing fertility treatment?

Our Support group are usually close family members and friends, but you may not feel that they can understand your situation. This thought comes up especially when those we want to talk to already have families and “apparently” haven’t had any problems. This assumption is a bit risky because even if someone hasn’t suffered from this problem, it doesn’t mean they can’t understand you. Well, we have all at some point in our lives fought with all our might against a situation where we felt powerless. Having had these feelings, rather than the problem, can help others understand us and, in turn, make us feel understood.

In addition to receiving social support for fertility problems and feel heard by friends and familythey can be too Help in our relationship. It is common for pregnancy to affect your life and relationship in such cases, especially when undergoing assisted treatments. Differences of opinion can arise in the couple, which are magnified, and daily issues are often seen as more important than they were previously assessed. Having more people share our burden can help make things less stressful and difficult than they can be.

This is also common The couple communicates mono-thematically and treats the topic over and over again without coming to a solution. Getting different points of view from other people can help us refocus the situation, although of course the final decision is made by the couple themselves.

Another reason that usually makes people do it Keep the problem secret, it’s jealousy or envy this is felt before families without fertility problems. It must be made clear that these feelings are perfectly normal. Because when illusions are put into a project that takes longer than expected, it’s normal to feel it to some extent before others.

Emotions in fertility treatments

fizkes || Shutterstock

However, a distinction must be made between “insane envy”, which does not contribute to mobilizing efforts against oneself, but rather arouses negative feelings towards others, such as hatred or anger. Contrasted with “healthy envy” which often turns into hatred or sadness towards ourselves. We can feel less valid than others, or feel guilty for not realizing it beforehand, for being the diagnosed person, etc.

The family as support for fertility treatments

It’s important to clarify, although ours social group can be an important supportand psychological counseling for assisted reproduction treatments, It can get annoying when they ask a lot of questions about the topic. or they perform them in tricky moments. It is therefore worth asking our relatives about it don’t ask us about itunless we raise them ourselves.

It is important to stop and analyze the possible negative and distorted thoughts that we might have. These can be the result of wear and tear or discomfort of the situation. Analyze them objectively and rationally so they don’t limit us. And rely on people who understand us and can be allies in our personal struggle.

Mary is health psychologist. She specializes in research and treatment in psychopathology and mental health. He has completed two official Masters at the University of Valencia (UV).

Since 2015 he has been working with the association ASPROIN, which focuses on people with infertility problems where does individual and couple psychological support. She also creates posts on her blog that provide high-quality scientific evidence on fertility.

Since 2014 he has been working as Teacher in various workshops to improve mental wellbeing, and the use of instruments for better capacity development. Recently she has worked as a community mediator on issues of Socio-cultural integration of migrant women.

He is currently collaborating on our website to review and write content on psychology and infertility.

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