Alternative model: what does that mean? In my case, my son lives half with his father, from whom I have been divorced for several years, and the other half with me. In weekly rotation. It’s going well because when we split up, we agreed that we are still parents to our son and that his well-being is our top priority.
This way of life has advantages and disadvantages for a new relationship, because theoretically there is a clear separation between time with and time without children due to the weekly change. But is it really so? Ultimately, it’s less about time and more about the actual roles I play in my life.
Is the exchange model something for you?
Think about it for yourself: are you also a mom at work, single, daughter, partner, etc.? Probably not, because the role of the employed or self-employed worker is then in the foreground. Of course, all these others are also present, but not at this time. It is probably so: the weighting is changing, we are fulfilling several roles at the same time.
At the beginning of the model change, it was hard for me to admit that I’ve been in mom mode for a week and then other topics take up less space. However, my experience has shown me that it is ultimately an approach that suits me personally. And after I did this, my environment also accepted it.
So today I can say: I am now happy about the clear weekly division. It gives me the freedom to focus on other things in my life. Multitasking isn’t really my thing.
Exchange model: Benefits of a new relationship.
- Getting to know each other can take place in a more concentrated way, initially without children and therefore a common ground can be created more quickly.
- As a couple you have a whole week of exclusive time together.
- Since I would like to be with a partner for whom blended family is also a requirement, it is always about including my/our children. This means that communication is clearer and more direct to solve all the logistical challenges that a 50/50 response model brings. Both between me and my current partner and between me and my ex-husband.
- You can live as a part-time family, great to start with, to gradually get used to it and extend this time spent together.
