They have to deal with these prejudices!
German mothers are getting old: in 1970 the average age of German mothers was 24, in 2019 it was 31.5, and the trend is increasing. Becoming a parent comes with a lot of responsibility, a financial burden, and putting your own needs aside. Things that many fear at first and therefore postpone the topic of the program “having children” for later. Young moms are getting rarer.
Anyone who dares to do so has to deal with prejudice, worry, and unwanted advice. She, like Hannah, is 26 years old and the mother of a son who will soon be 2 years old.
The young mother reports.
“Two years ago, when I was with my son Oskar (Name changed by editors) got pregnant, a dream come true for my boyfriend and me. Oskar is an absolute dream boy and despite that, as a pregnant woman, she is happy for his encouragement and support anyway. But what I experienced was the exact opposite.
I was quite young when I got pregnant. I was in my early 20s and had just started my master’s degree. I already had my degree and already had several years of professional experience – however, I had to listen to reactions like “You are pregnant?! That? You are ruining your life with this! Your entire career is over!I found that incredibly painful, especially since it was already clear to me at the time that I would not become a different person “just” because I would have a child. Then as now, I had the plan to continue studying and at some point, when Oskar is old enough, to return to work. But no one in my work environment really believed in it.
Even in my circle of friends, not everyone reacted as I would have liked.
There were some who acted as if my life was over from now on. Worst of all was the reaction of a partner – “partner” in quotes because I’m still very disappointed – who was really shocked by my pregnancy. “How can you have a child so early in your career? You’re spoiling everything with that!”he told me. I tried to talk to him normally at first but it only got worse. At some point he said that it was totally “stupid” to have a child now. I no longer have anything to do with him.
Other friends reacted more positively and were happy with me. For some it was too much joy: there were friends who suddenly pushed me into the role of mother. True to the motto: “Why are you still studying if you are pregnant?”
Many couldn’t understand that now she wanted to be more than just a mom.
A friend of mine did not want to believe at all that I did not want to be financed by my boyfriend. He probably doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but he has a completely different attitude than me. It was always clear to me that he wanted to work for my own life. I would like to be able to pay for my interests and hobbies: I have a horse, for example. It’s about me, regardless of whether my boyfriend and I have a child together or not.
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