When your partner’s mother is a nightmare
Pauline only grew up with her father. Her mother died of cancer when Pauline was only four years old. She always missed a mother very much, this gap has never been closed. So Pauline couldn’t believe how lucky she was that Fritz’s mother took her in as if she were her own daughter. She was impressed by her mother-in-law’s strong personality, her intelligence, her education, her charm, and her loving and caring nature.
Pauline also got along very well with Fritz’s father, who treated his future daughter-in-law as if she were his own daughter. The perfect family, until it slowly becomes apparent that her mother’s devotion has a downside. She is revealed in the fact that she can be extremely domineering and arrogant and she also regularly displays this attitude. It seems to be the true character of her. She meddles in everything and becomes obnoxious when ignored or disobeyed. Pauline soon feels in the stranglehold of her mother and she is horrified to see how Fritz and her father submit to her mother. Fritz sees very well that her mother is abusive, but she cannot free herself from her slavery, at least that’s what it seems to Pauline.
Pauline’s bossy mother-in-law strains her relationship with Fritz
The father stopped fighting a long time ago, that’s Pauline’s impression. There are more and more arguments between Fritz and Pauline. On impulse, she wants to call off the wedding, but then lets it slide. She loves Fritz and is looking for a solution.
“The big question I ask myself is whether I should have known all along what was going on in this family,” Pauline says with concern. “I would think that was impossible. There was no evidence that anything was wrong. Fritz’s mother didn’t put on a show, she was consistent, she was authentic. She was so kind and caring, everything seemed real to me. I’ve raved about her everywhere I was in love with her.
She cooked for us and pampered us in every way. She asked me about my job. I was able to talk to her very well, rarely have I met someone who can listen as well as she does. She took a back seat, just said something when it was appropriate and then something clever. She did not force her view of her world on me. Not a trace of arrogance and dominance. In retrospect, I think that’s her ploy. She makes you spin like a spider spinning her web in search of prey. This woman wants power at all costs.
Perhaps he should have pricked up his ears, seeing how he sometimes treated Fritz’s father. She directs it, but she does it with love, that didn’t make me suspicious. For me, it was just her relationship system. The mother has just assumed the active part, the father rather the passive part, at least at home. He is a very successful lawyer”.
The first argument is unavoidable.
The first shock occurs during the preparations for the wedding. Fritz and Pauline want to get married in a small circle, only the closest relatives and friends. The mother removes it from the table. She overwhelms the couple with her ideas of a bombastic celebration, telling friends and family that Fritz and Pauline are planning a big party and are anxiously looking for a suitable venue. She acts like a professional wedding planner without being asked by her son or Pauline.
Both try to teach the mother to stop her activities. They try to be grateful, they express their gratitude for their mother’s participation, but they do not deviate from their own ideas. No possibility! Pauline’s mother-in-law stays busy until one day Pauline accuses her of feeling like she’s talking to a brick wall.