“You are pregnant?” – Why this question is simply not appropriate!

I am a curious person. I can really get excited about all sorts of topics, dig into details, get to the bottom of things. You could also say I’m curious. Not bad quality, right? But: I firmly believe that curiosity must have its limits. And that there are questions that you simply don’t ask other people. There are some of them. For example, the classic “You’re so nice, why are you single?” or “Don’t you and your boyfriend want to get married soon?” Interestingly, in Germany the question of the amount of salary is also one of them. But that is another topic entirely. In my opinion, however, the number 1 question not to ask is clear and unquestionable: “Are you pregnant?”

I’m currently in my sixth month and I’m lucky I haven’t actually been asked the question before, especially not before the magical twelve week limit. Thanks to Corona, you could say that you can’t meet (stranger) people so much at the moment that you are constantly faced with curious people. But if it had happened, it probably wouldn’t have given the answer the questioner imagined.

I’m sure the question is to be nice…

I’ll put it this way: If you’re asked about a pregnancy while panting up the stairs somewhere in the ninth month, sure. That’s funny. But no, I’m more concerned with curious questions that most of us probably know about. For example, if you’re in your 30s and have been in a stable relationship for a while, you don’t want to drink alcohol at a party or family celebration (without having to drive). Or maybe the midriff-hugging dress feels a little unflattering. Is this question then heard in front of the assembled team? I say no, absolutely not.

But I’ll go a step further: I think the question shouldn’t necessarily be asked in a small group or privately between two people. Simply for the simple reason that it doesn’t just explore a possible pregnancy. But a whole battery of other topics that you probably only want to discuss with very few people. And that, consequently, are not of interest to most people.

Sorry, my life plan is none of your business!

In a “Are you pregnant?” a million other questions ring out: I swear, a simple “no” wouldn’t kill the topic. Because then it goes straight on r. If in general you want to have children or not, and “whether you can have children or not” is not far away either. Whether you’ve had a miscarriage, are undergoing fertility treatment, or have some other health problem, it’s just not a concern for many people. Then comes the question about children and career, if they work and how much (basically there are only wrong answers here 😉)… And and and.

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